Meet the Characters!

From the literal darkest depths of the hospital, The Radiologist is Glaucomflecken General’s medical imaging hero. Despite wearing two layers of eye protection and no layers of pants (allegedly), he’s crucial to the diagnostic capabilities of every doctor in the place.

While the other specialties at Glaucomflecken General tend to the rest of the body, the Psychiatrist tends to the brain. He’s there to provide the mental support the patients and the doctors need – even when they don’t know they need it.

The brightest ray of sunshine the hospital has to offer, the Pediatrician makes sure the littlest voices never go unheard. He’s armed with limitless patience and boundless cheer, and when that doesn’t work – stickers and lollipops. A hug from Pediatrics is medicine in itself.

Despite being eternally locked away in the basement, the Pathologist is warm and kind – even if he only ever talks to his microscope, Tabitha. He’s happiest when looking at slides, although he could definitely use some non-machine, more human-like connection.

One of the hospital’s more intimidating characters, the Neurosurgeon, has a large ego hard-earned through years of near-fanatical dedication to his work. His direct gaze instills an overwhelming sense of imposter syndrome, but he’s definitely the one to trust when you need brain surgery. Literally.

If you were looking to inject some imposter syndrome into your day, no worries – Neuro’s here to make sure you know he’s the most intelligent person in the room. And you know what? He’s probably right. Answer his questions correctly to avoid the wrong end of a reflex hammer, and you’ll be good to go.

Nobody’s more passionate about calculations than The Nephrologist. A guardian of kidney function, he’s a stickler who’s liable to butt heads – especially with The Cardiologist. His attitude may be salty, but that’s because it has to be. Literally.

Rural Medicine is more than just a doctor – he’s one of the few people responsible for keeping an entire small town alive (along with the ingenuity of Texaco Mike). Armed with a can-do attitude and the ability to learn how to do anything and everything, he’s an invaluable resource to a hardworking community of farmers who often put getting the job done in front of their own health.

The OB/GYN is, apparently, Glaucomflecken General’s only woman, having replaced a textbook from 1968. She’s a consummate professional, serving her patients while fielding not-so-bright questions from the male doctors. Whatever she’s getting paid, it’s not enough.

He’s omnipresent. He possesses powers unknown, perhaps incomprehensible. He’s the greatest scribe who’s ever lived, and he’s loyal to the Ophthalmologist… for now. In the meantime, Jonathan is always there when you need him, even if his intense, unblinking gaze is slightly unsettling.

General Surgery can’t be bothered by mundane activities like holding things or looking up information himself. After all, he’s the one who saves lives around here. While he doles out witty insults like candy on Halloween, it’s all for everyone’s own learning.

The Anesthesiologist is an expert in safely putting patients to sleep, sitting, and playing iPad games on the clock. As good as he is at reluctantly helping surgeons do their jobs, he appreciates the fine art of avoiding busy work as much as possible.

Perhaps no one has a less healthy work-life balance than Family Medicine. With a little love and appreciation – and firmer boundaries – he may one day be able to straighten out his tie and glasses. Until then, he’ll keep being the backbone of healthcare.

The hospital’s resident bro, Ortho’s philosophy is simple: bones. He’s happiest when he has access to a) a set of kettlebells, b) ancef, or c) you guessed it, bones. Long bones are his favorite, but he will tolerate non-long bones as well. He may not be the most bookish, but sometimes, simplicity gets the job done.

Nobody keeps their cool like the Emergency Physician, even if it means everyone is slightly worried for his health and sanity. Despite his adrenaline-and-caffeine addiction, Emergency is always blunt and realistic about the intensity of his work. It’s fine – the bike helmet protects him.

The doctor whose work/life balance actually skews heavily towards the life part – thanks in no small way to his loyal scribe, Jonathan. EYou might not want him responding to a medical emergency on an airplane or helping out in critical care for non-eye things, but his positivity is good for the soul. That’s what rarely taking call does for a person.