From Caregiver to Advocate:

Navigating Medical Trauma with Humor and Heart

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I am married to ophthalmologist-by-day / internet comedian-by-night Dr. Will Flanary, better known as Dr. Glaucomflecken. (And yes, I do accept condolences for that.) We started dating as undergraduates before each earning advanced degrees from Dartmouth College. 

This means I have been along for the entire medical training ride, from pre-med to private practice. 

Against all “best practices,” I agreed to have our first baby during Will’s medical school years and our second during his residency. Meanwhile, I was finishing graduate school, building my own career, and helping prevent my husband’s body from trying to kill him. 

I took on the unexpected roles of caregiver and “co-survivor” of these traumatic experiences. In May 2020, I woke up in the middle of the night to Will dying in our bed while our 8- and 5-year-old daughters were asleep in the next room. I called 911 and performed 10 minutes of CPR before help arrived. 

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My perspective on the healthcare system is a unique one. 

I have behind-the-scenes knowledge of what it takes to be a physician from being “married to medicine.” I have been a patient and a family member of a patient. And I am a co-survivor of life-altering diagnoses.

I have seen compassion and humanity, and the lack thereof. 

Through my stories, I hope to make a difference. I hope to change how healthcare workers see their patients and their families. I hope to remind them of the importance of compassionate care.

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